The Evil Empire of Libby Lu
Essays — By Rachel Pater on October 1, 2007 at 12:00 am
Going to the mall is something I do only if I’m feeling very strong (or at least slightly masochistic.)
The sheer sound of the place sends me into a cold sweat, and the barrage of products from every angle is enough to make me want to find a suitable burlap bag, fashion into a one-size-fits-all moo-moo, and just be done with it.
But one place in our local mall doesn’t just make me pine for solitude in the nearest black hole, but to stage interventions and form support groups for those caught by the evil empire that is: Libby Lu.
Touting girl power and individuality as their main prerogatives, Libby Lu is a cross between a store and a day spa where girls are dressed up, given makeovers, strutted down a runway, and taught a dance they are to perform in front of a group of beaming mothers.
The company describes Libby Lu as: “A special secret club where super fabulous girls can get makeovers parties, play games, get advice, and find really cool princess paraphernalia…”
I think I just threw up some sparkles.
If you find yourself in one of the malls in the U.S. that is lucky enough to have a Libby Lu (there are 90 or so nestled in select Younkers and Saks across the country), follow the pixie dust and the pounding sounds of Mambo #5 (or some other misogynistic song), and get ready for a lesson in being a V.I.P (Very Important Princess).
If you are age 4-12, tug on your mom’s Kate Spade purse and beg her to fork over $35 (and sign over her soul), and you’ll be given a full makeover (heavy on the eye makeup!), a new hair-do (I’ll take the Hanna Montana hair extensions!), and a music video dance lesson (b/c what’s the use of looking like a little tramp if you can’t shake your booty?!). Before you go, make sure to purchase a spa kit or some accessories to go with your tiny stuffed dog.
The company admits to being more than a store, calling themselves a “special secret club”. And though they’d like to project a carefree atmosphere of individuality and creativity, there is as strict a code of conformity and social norms taught here as there were in any 19th century school of etiquette.
Had one of these girls been born 100 years ago to a well-to-do family in the U.S. or Britain, it was likely that she would have been sent to some such school to learn expectations of social behavior. But the social mores taught in these schools of yore were not all frivolous inventions of snobbery (i.e. finding just the right angle to hold your pinky out whilst sipping your tea); they focused also on teaching girls worthwhile traits like hospitality, comforting the bereaved, and contributing to conversations in a non-dominating way.
Welcome to Libby Lu, the 21st century’s version of a school of etiquette. But instead of hospitality and generosity, we’ll teach you consumerism and self-indulgence, replace lessons of “How to create a comfortable house” with “How to shake it like a Polaroid picture, ” and make sure you don’t graduate without the firm notion that you are only as good as you look.
You may say: “it’s not that big of a deal. What damage can a some makeup and a day of pampering do on a little girl?”
Honestly, isolated, not that much.
If we lived in a society that constantly reinforced girls’ confidence, told them they were good enough without any product, and didn’t need to act in any way not true to themselves, we’d be fine. If every girl knew she was valued apart from what she looked like or what small box of gender constrictions she could fit into, no amount of Libby Lu or any other such foolishness could touch her.
We obviously do not. Walk out of Libby Lu and you’ll run into Victoria’s Secret, where you’ll find mostly naked women in hyper-sexualized poses with the tag line “The beauty candy store for grown-up girls.” I dunno, captain, but I think there might be a connection here.
From Libby Lu to Victoria’s Secret, we indoctrinate girls to think that their value is based on their appearance and men’s response to it. You’re young? You should be trying to looklike you’re older! You’re old? You should be trying to look younger! Don’t try on any form of femininity that might challenge men or make someone uncomfortable! Be sexual and submissive. Be the girl on “The Man Show” or in a rap video who cannot show her intelligence or personality, only her body. Be that girl at the bar or the one who laughs at all his jokes even though he’s a jerk.
When do these girls get a break? From the time they’re just out of diapers until the time they die, they are taught, both subtlety and not, that their inner qualities play second fiddle to their outer appearance, and that products can offer solutions to all imperfections.
I’m not naïve enough to want to go back to the good ole days of Emily Post. I realize that along with those mild-mannered women come another set of social constraints. But let’s not pretend that we are empowering our girls when we let them “express themselves” in places like Libby Lu. We have replaced corsets with tube tops and being overly submissive to “having it your way.”
By the time I have children, I hope that places like Libby Lu will be a thing of the past. Then again, I’m not sure if I’ll ever snag a man with this itchy moo-moo on.
69 Comments
I appreciate the calibur of writing in this piece, but I’m a little bit surprised a store like Libby Lu has the author in such an uproar. It reads a bit ironic: this article almost goes to the complete other extreme citing something wrong with women who liked to dress up when they were little girls or (God forbid) shop at Victoria’s Secret as an adult.
I’ve never been repulsed when I walk by Libby Lu. I think some little girls love makeup and sparkles, which does not predestine them to a life of whore-dom and certainly doesn’t earn them the title “prosti-tot”.
Thanks for the article, Rachel! I’ve never heard of Libby Lu until I read your article, but if I ever get married and have any children, and I happen to come across a Libby Lu at the mall, I’ll be sure and avoid it like the plague. After all, we should be teaching our children that it’s what’s inside that counts, God after our hearts, not what we look like on the outside. Plus, our society is sexualized enough, and it’s robbing our children of something they’ve once enjoyed: Their innocence and sense of purity. It’s no wonder so many young couples today can’t wait until they are married before moving in together and having sex, isn’t it? This article also makes me glad I am (a) not a feminist, and (b) not a girly-girly kind of woman who tortures herself to look beautiful and conforms to other’s expectations of what being feminine is all about. Pants are more comfortable for me to wear than dresses, anyway, and a lot of our beauty products may have an ingredient in them called Collagen Amino Acids, which could come from aborted fetuses.
Its genetically coded in us to desire to attract the opposite sex. Not only is it no surprise that girls and boys want to make themselves attractive as mates, its the most natural thing in the world.
You will never, ever be able to change the fact that women want to look appealing to men and men want to be appealing to women. Why you would think that is a bad thing is beyond me…
I have to completely disagree with all of you. This article is going overboard! There is nothing wrong with treating your daughter like a princess if she wants to be one. That is part of being a girl. I am so sick of all theses feminist trying to take away tea parties and castles. I’m tired of moms teaching their young girls that they don’t need princes. Get off your man hating pedestal. Let girls be girls!
you’re probably really ugly & have ugly children that even the club couselers at libby lu couldn’t make pretty. don’t talk crap on a business that is makin more money & gettin more business than you’re stupid article.
It’s called Libby Lu because the woman who came up with the idea to create the store had an imaginary friend when she was growing up whom she called Libby Lu.
I don’t know what kind of Libby Lu you (APN) have where you live but I’ve always considered the Libby Lu at the Mall of America to be more like what Mrs. Schaef said, a place where little girls can play dress-up and have fun. The Libby Lu where you live might let the girls wear the clothes when the leave but at the one I work at it is exactly like playtime. The girls dress up, get their hair and makeup done (we do NOT emphasize on the eyeshadow. We are taught to put enough on so as to make it barely visable) and dance…afterwards they get back into their regular clothes and go about the rest of their day as they normally would.
As for the “booty shaking” bit…the only dance the girls can choose to do that causes them to shake their booty is the hokey-pokey. The “run way” (which it sounds like is the only thing done whenever Pater walks past) is also chosen by the girls. They are the ones who decide what will be the last dance. Come to the Mall of America Libby Lu and you’ll see that it’s not as horrible as Pater is making it out to be. We play with the girls and try to make it the happiest most memorable birthday (which is mostly the case) or day they have yet had but they are the ones making the final decision in everything. Do you want to dress up? What hairstyle would you like? Do you want to do a final dance? If so, which one? All these things they decide. We don’t force them to do anything. The only time we will advise them on their hair is if we find that they have lice and that’s only because the we are not allowed to do their hair if that is the case.
I don’t know what kind of Libby Lu you (APN) have where you live but I’ve always considered the Libby Lu at the Mall of America to be more like what Mrs. Schaef said, a place where little girls can play dress-up and have fun. The Libby Lu where you live might let the girls wear the clothes when the leave but at the one I work at it is exactly like playtime. The girls dress up, get their hair and makeup done (we do NOT emphasize on the eyeshadow. We are taught to put enough on so as to make it barely visable) and dance…afterwards they get back into their regular clothes and go about the rest of their day as they normally would.
Granted this only applies to some of the commentors but people like you make me sick. Saying that you’ll stay away from somewhere “like the plague” as one person phrased it just because some random person on the internet said it was bad. Do people like you make any opinions on your own or do you just blindly accept every opinion someone else throws at you without thinking twice or giving it a chance? What you’re telling me is basically “I’m not going to do something because a person I don’t even know told me not to. I’m not going to even bother checking it out myself because it’ll be just as evil as that person described it.” I firmly believe that someone needs to try something before they should be allowed to formulate an opinion on it. You can’t say you hate spinage when you’ve never had it before. This should apply to stores to. Don’t say you hate Libby Lu when you’ve never even been there. If you want to make sure your girls don’t nag at you to go there before you’ve made a decision on it yourself then go by yourself. Then after you’ve seen what it is and what goes on there then you can decide if you want to allow your girls to go there. But it disgusts me when people form judgements on things they have no experience with.
Actually it’s called CLUB Libby Lu so it’s excempt from you believe that anything beginning with “Libby” should not be allowed to market itself.
you probably wear detroit lions sweatpanst all yeer round and still ride a trycicle. I bet when you put on makeup its clown makeup cuz you live at the circus. you should try to get more business at your article.
Way to rekindle the fire Pater. Yikes! It’s too bad that there are those who believe that one must be fugly in order to speak out against a business like Libby Lu for the sake of making a very meaningful point. Obviously, one’s physical appearance has an effect on reason. Were that really the case, I would have to question the appearance of Anonymous.
I don
Who is Anonymous’ comment aimed at? Me or Pater?
I love playing with children and in my eyes all children are beautiful. I’ve always considered what I do as playing with them and making them happy. Pater said herself that Libby Lu on its own doesn’t cause that much harm to a child’s self image so why does it sound like everyone is placing all the blame on Libby? If you truly want your child to grow up with a belief in inner worth you’re going to have to do a hell of a lot more than just avoid Libby Lu. You’re going to have to avoid television, magazines, books with pictures (Think about it, how often does an overweight character appear on book covers or in the books themselves if the book does not specifically state that they are overweight?), movies, hell you’d even need to avoid public and private schools. Basically your child would have to live a life of solitude totally disconnected from the outside world.
Wow. It’s amazing how much animosity can be created by an article and a store. First of all, I was not born in the 60s, I love men (my husband in particular) and I have 2 beautiful daughters under the age of 10. I also happen to be a Girl Scout Leader, a youth director and a teacher. I have been in a Libby Lu, so I would consider my opinion to be fully informed, not a knee-jerk reaction to the previous posts.
I DO agree that one store (or franchise) is not the single cause of self-esteem problems across the world. And wrapping your child in bubble wrap or closing them off from society is not the solution either. Self-esteem comes from more than just our environment, it comes from those who love and care for us, and from inside ourselves. Unfortunately, mass media bombards us with images of “beauty”, our kids are targeted by businesses like Libby Lu and celebrities like Britney Spears. It requires tenacity for parents to combat the messages found in our society. When I see the shameless sexualization of young girls, especially in our country, I am quickly reminded of why sexual predators, child molesters and internet kiddie porn are as prevalent as they are. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to make the connection.
My daughters have had tea parties, princess parties and love their dress up bucket. I am a fan of fairy tales and make-believe. I do not feel compelled, however, to participate in the Libby Lu sensation. Somehow, playing dress up in the mall, in front of countless strangers takes all the “magic” out of it. It feels cheap and unhealthy.
I had to add my two cents. I completely agree with this article. While, as others have said, it is not the only reason for low self-esteem, it does contribute to it. I worked at an upscale mall with a Libby Lu, and it disgusted me every time I walked by the store. It’s not simply playing dress-up. I have no problem with that and loved to do it as a kid. But Libby Lu goes beyond dressing kids up. The wigs are disturbing and unnecessary, as are the colored extensions. I can’t say for sure, but I haven’t seen girls come out with wigs other than blond ones. What is that teaching them? That you have to be blond to be beautiful? The clothes are terrible as well. I saw a picture somewhere else of some girls at Libby Lu. One was a princess. No problem. But on the others, the pants were extremely tight, and they looked like they were wearing a strapless bra. That’s literally all there was to the top. These girls couldn’t have been more than 7 or 8… There’s a difference between dressing up as a princess and dressing up like Britney Spears. As for the little dogs to put in their bags, do we really want kids to be like Paris Hilton? It’s just sickening, and I’m sorry, but there is no justifying it. I know this isn’t the only store, but we should be teaching kids to be comfortable in their own skin, not in Hannah Montana’s or Paris Hilton’s or whoever else’s… I don’t have any kids of my own, but you can bet that when I do, I will not allow them to go to a place like this. I’ll teach them to value themselves and not superficial and materialistic things, as this store is doing. Like I said, this isn’t the only place kids get a low self-esteem from. But it’s teaching them at a very young age that looks are important and that beautiful is long, blond hair, tight pants, tiny tops, and shaking your booty… Anyone who believes this is okay or just playing dress-up has to be delusional or superficial themselves. How sad.
My four year old daughter’s experience at Club Libby Lu in SC this past July (while we were on vacation) was nothing like the one you speak of in your article. There was glitter and lots of it, but what little girl doesn’t like glitter? The hair style was very cute, and very simple to do (I’ve fixed it for her a couple of times after we got home). The “make-up” that was used was like the make-up many moms buy for their daughters at Walmart to play with. My daughter chose pink (which was no surprise to me because that is her favorite color – as is the case for many little girls this age) and it was so light you could barely see it. People that did not know it had been applied (my parents and other family members) could not even tell she had any on. In my opinion there was nothing wrong with the clothes/assessories that came with her package (a pink sequined tank top that came down past her waist, a pink feather boa, and two sequined bracelets). This experience was nothing more than an opportunity for my daughter to get to “play” princess – which is what we call her by the way because she is, in fact, OUR princess.
I’m not Christian. I don’t believe that Jesus died for our sins or any of that, and I’m perfectly happy that way. However, I find myself forced to agree with what seems to be a goodly number of Christians on the subject of Club Libby Lu.
The way I see it, it’s merely the next step in a society that is increasingly obsessed with conspicuous consumption. Random fact: the most energy-intensive sector in our society is not industry or manufacturing, or even agriculture– it’s retail. We use more energy on buying and selling things than we do on making them or growing food. Thirty-five dollars for a pre-teen girl to play dress up? Why not? It’ll teach her the value of conspicuous consumption. She’ll learn how to say “I want it like this and I want it right now.” And when she finds herself in the real world, where she can’t have what she wants the way she wants it exactly when she wants it, what then?
Oh, well, that won’t happen. She’ll have a boyfriend or a husband to take care of her. And if the boyfriend or husband is scum? It’ll be her fault, of course, for not being good enough, or pretty enough, or stupid enough.
People, and not just girls, need to learn that you don’t always get what you want. There won’t always be a Burger King, where you can “Have it your way” no matter if you’re in Boston or Philadelphia or Seattle. The Petroleum Age is drawing to a close, and not a moment too soon. Maybe when we have to hitch up a wagon or ride a horse to get to the mall, we’ll appreciate what we get there a little bit more.
I am a Christian and very proud to say that I live for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and that my husband and I raise our children to love our Lord. That does not change my opinion of this store in the least. Stores do not “teach” our children values and morals, parents DO. I agree that children idolize celebraties, and that’s why it is important that we (as parents) spend time with our children. My children are taught (by the example that we lead) that appearance is not everything, that’s why I didn’t have a problem with my daughter experiencing this. She understood that it was just “play” – no different than if we were visiting Disney World.
Wow… so I guess your mother must have keep you locked in your closet you’re entire life. What did you play with when you were a little girl? Did you ever own paper dolls that you dressed up in all of their outfits? Did you ever walk around your house in mommy shoes and put of her lip stick?? Libby Lu does not put heavy make up on the girls, they apply a light eye shadow and a lip gloss. Every girl that walks into Libby Lu is told they are beautiful with or without a makeover. So for people like you to be so concerned about little girls pretending to be a princess I guess it’s ok to let our girls to sit at home with no life and watch tv all day. NO!!! And as for the dancing… the girls have a choice to dance. If moms don’t want the dancing SPEAK UP! But I never saw what was wrong to dancing to the Cha Cha slide… Dancing is good for children it helps show confidence, rhythm, and interacting with other children. So the next time you find yourself having a problem with something that has been going on for generations (even yours) stop inside a Libby Lu and talk to a working and ask them what it is that they really do there.
It seems that this article has resonated with many of you.
For those of you still not convinced, a picture is maybe worth more than my entire article (and don’t try to tell me that their makeovers are “subtle”):
https://webspace.utexas.edu/amr68/www/LibbyLu/pics/dance2.jpg
That picture looks like it was taken at a dance competition, and not at Libby Lu’s. My daughter has participated in both. There were NO clothes that looked like that picture in the Libby Lu store that we visited and there was no dancing involved. We were there for an hour and I NEVER saw one dance. I have, however, seen young girls dressed like this with heavy makeup like this at some of my daughter’s dance competition. My daughter attends a Christian Dance Studio and so her teacher never chooses costumes like the one in your picture – if she did my daughter would not participate. My daughter wears more make-up for dance (still not this much though) than she was wearing when we left Libby Lu’s! So, yes in MY daughter’s experience the make-up was very subtle. Nothing like the little girls in your picture. If you would like to see a picture of my daughter’s Libby Lu Make-over, head on over to my blog at http://my2angles.blogspot.com. The picture on the top of the page with her daddy and her brother was taken directly after we left Libby Lu’s in Myrtle Beach, SC. See what I mean about subtle – I betcha can’t even see the make-up! Let me say again, I believe that picture that you included must have been taken at a dance competition instead…
I have two little girls who are all into the Libby Lu makeover. Now I have to say that a lot of the comments I have read seem a little over the top. I do believe we should let little girls be little girls. But on the other hand it is our responsibility as parents to limit what they can and can’t do. We have done 2 makeovers in the past two years. We keep it simple. There hair is done up and some light eye shadow and lip gloss is used and some glitter is sprayed in the hair. They pick out some costume jewelry and maybe a fancy hair clip. That’s it. I don’t think the clothes they sell are age appropriate so we don’t get them. The store we visit doesn’t do the runway or the dancing so I can’t comment on that. I believe this kind of dress up is okay in moderation. That’s where we as parents need to set limits but at the same time let them have a good time just being little girls.
Until you work at this store and understand the true concept of the business and the story behind the brand, then you shouldn’t bash it. I have been employed with the company for 2 years and it is one of the company’s rules that we put LIGHT eyeshadow on the girls and what’s wrong with clear lipgloss>?! We have learned as a company and have taken every customers’ comments and suggestions to heart. ANd we have changed the costumes. And we offer the products and are not forcing it on these little girls. At the end of the day…..who’s decision is it to buy the product? So get off of your high horse and relax! IT’s just fun! INNOCENT FUN!
Until you work at this store and understand the true concept of the business and the story behind the brand, then you shouldn’t bash it. I have been employed with the company for 2 years and it is one of the company’s rules that we put LIGHT eyeshadow on the girls and what’s wrong with clear lipgloss>?! We have learned as a company and have taken every customers’ comments and suggestions to heart. ANd we have changed the costumes. And we offer the products and are not forcing it on these little girls. At the end of the day…..who’s decision is it to buy the product? So get off of your high horse and relax! IT’s just fun! INNOCENT FUN!
Good to know those are all of your opinions, if it bothers you that much look the other way and problem solved, its a childrens store for Gods sake, lol get over it and focus on more important things than a little girl who is getting a makeover, ooooo oh yea thats evil and wrong. lol
Okay for all you old-timers living in the past, this store is just innocent fun. I worked there for 2 years and if you do not know what it is, then do not comment about it either. Oh my goodness! If you wear make up and play dress up then you will turn out a self-conscience prostitute. Beware of glitter it will make you melt! The reasons for children growing up messed up is the PARENTS fault. Not businesses that want to treat a little girl like a princess for their birthday.
alright here it goes. i doubt anyone is on this forum anymore but let me tell you something. i happen to work at a club libby lu and i have for about two years now. yes the old costumes were innapropriate. do you realize that we have t-shirts and tank tops for them to dress in now? something else to add its your daughter who wants to look like a whore who put on too much make up. because if we put it on light they complain. so you can take your dumb ass article and shove it where the sun don’t shine because you have NO idea what the hell you are talking about. i am sorry your life sucked so much that your mother never let you dress up and get your hair done but it isn’t like that anymore. and you only fork over 25 dollars. kthanx…find a new hobby
I think you need to dig a little deeper before you go knocking things you don’t understand. I have met the found of Club Libby Lu and was there when the 13th store opened in the Woodlands, TX. If you know anything about Mary Drolet, you know that the idea behind this store is not to make girls feel like they have to look a certian way or even to promote consumerism among children. The idea behind Club Libby Lu is to give girls, all of whom are princesess, with or without makeup, a place to play dress up and make believe. Girls get to choose for themselves if they want to be a rock star or a princess. They can dance or not dance as they choose. I have not been in one of these stores for a long time, but I know that when it started, the idea was to make each girl know she is special BEFORE she has the makeover, during the makeover and after the makeover. The longest any party or makeover would ever last would be 2 hours and I don’t think it ever hurt a little girl to be made the center of attention for such a short amount of time.
I suppose the author of this article and everyone with a negative comment is thrilled that the company is closing, but let me assure you, it is not because it is a bad place and perhaps when the economy picks up again, we will find Club Libby Lu’s opening again.
I have worked at Libby Lu for nearly three years now and I have to impress the fact that there is so much more magic in that store than any of you seem to understand. Its not the make-up and the hair-do’s that enforces the girls’ confidence, its the teenage girls who work there. Its people like me and my co-workers who look forward to playing with those girls everyday. Its us who cried when we learned it would close and our hearts ache whenever we have to tell the little girls we are closing.
This job and this store have given me so many memories that have changed who I am for the better. This summer, I was assigned a very special makeover for a little girl’s 6th birthday. We did everything and I don’t know if I have ever seen someone smiling so much. It wasn’t until after our Happy Birthday scream that I saw the tears in her grandmother’s eyes. As she thanked me, she told me that the little girl had a terminal illness and she was not supposed to have made it to her sixth birthday. Celebrating that day with her was more touching than anything I ever could have done.
Like other employees have said, you cannot criticize until you have worked there and understood what the store really is and how it really affects girls. Looking at it from outside is blindly trying to talk about something you cannot understand.