Burnside Endorses: Linen Pants

I am notoriously concerned with comfort over style, which is why I wear Chacos year round and still frequently adorn myself in my old Army PT shirts, armpit holes and all.

Mindy, on the other hand, enjoys treating me like some sort of dress-up doll. She buys me button-up shirts with starched collars. Sometimes she makes me wear slacks instead of jeans. It’s like living under Tito.

That said, you can imagine my delight when, while wandering the streets of Playa Del Carmen, my eyes alighted onto a vision in white: linen pants. In the oppressive swelter, they seemed cottony cool. I pictured myself strutting the streets of Phoenix, the scorching sunbeams clattering harmlessly off my billowy legs. I marveled at the drawstring…no more belts! I tried them on, and felt I could dance for days.

What’s more, linen pants are classy! The pair I bought have a nice crease down the middle of each leg. That’s fashion, my friend.

To recap: linen pants are great for warm weather, Mindy is happy because I look snazzy, and I feel like I’m wearing pajamas.

Of course, linen pants aren’t quite perfect. I wore them on the trip back from Mexico, and they were perfect clothes for flying. Upon arrival in Portland, however, I felt like a moron…the only person in the city wearing white pajama bottoms.

One more minor reason to look forward to Phoenix.