Effortlessly – A Love Story…

Finally the wedding night had arrived. He slid the silky negligee off each of her shoulders, first the right, with a shiver of excitement, then the left. With all of their longing now coming to sweet fruition, it fell to the floor effortlessly.

Like a baby mouse’s neck breaking in an industrial-sized rat trap. -It’s legs darting swiftly backwards in a grand seizure before dropping “effortlessly” against the cold cement of a long ago condemned Russian-owned meat processing plant…

She had been abandoned by her parents to live on the streets and had to sell whatever she could to stay alive, which usually meant herself. It was only Tyler’s gentle love for her that eventually proved all hope was not lost in her painful existence. Finding her beaten and thrown into an alleyway, Tyler looked into Elizabeth’s eyes and somehow embraced the deep sense of abandonment as his own.

Like a wolf recognizing his own urine in the crotch of another wolf. The only explanation being that somehow this wolf had stooped directly on top of one of his 19 territory markers. But what are the chances??

Tyler picked her up effortlessly; as he had spent many years heaving rancid meat at the local processing plant before it was shut down. Elizabeth leaned into his jacket and let out a small “mouse-like” whimper as he tried to shelter her semi-unconscious body from the rain. “How could someone so beautiful be so forgotten in this world?” Tyler cried to himself.

Like an alzheimer’s patient who put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and forgot about it until the next time he tried to make some popcorn…

Now the day of their marriage had come. -The sweet refreshing winds of mid-April were blowing off the North Atlantic. The ceremony was filled with well wishers and loved ones of all variety. Afterwards the celebration was called the ‘party to end all parties.’ Well into the night, people of all races, creeds, and financial backgrounds drank deep of laughter and were filled.

Like the 3,005 lungs aboard the Titanic drank deep of the North Atlantic and were filled when the mighty ship sank to a watery grave on April 15, 1912… -An odd number of lungs, as one man aboard the vessel was born ‘uni-lung,’ a hereditary condition which, by sheer mathematics alone caused him to yawn twice as fast…

The two embraced in sweet love, and would go on to tirelessly help save the indigenous grey wolf population from extinction through their next 50 years of marital bliss. -But not before putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave that night and forgetting it, then finding it the next morning. Looking at each other with the microwave door open, they smiled and guessed they had been too “busy” to remember.

Like an alzheimer’s patient who put a popcorn bag in the microwave, then deciding to have sex, said to himself, “Forget about it…”

It was love.

Like how the uni-lunged man loved showing off his incredible yawning speed at a party on deck just moments before the tragedy…

The End

Like the semi-romantic death Tyler and Elizabeth will both face in exactly 50 years…

The End Addendum - How they died…

Finding themselves lost in the indigenous wilderness on a chilly mid-April night, neither Tyler, stricken with severe arthritis from his time spent at the meat processing plant, nor Elizabeth, having by then severe alzheimers, could muster the effort to continue.

Like a baby mouse in a rat trap reaching for a nearby kernel of popcorn but at the same time feeling the rapid onset of paralysis…

By sheer chance they laid down in one of a pack of grey wolves’ 19 territory marker locations… It was there that, holding each other for the last time, each of them stared into the eyes of their true love until they finally entered eternity -together, effortlessly.

Like the ease at which the encircling wolves ravaged their bodies. -The very same wolves who were later caught and shipped to Russia for meat aboard an ill-fated freighter which would crash and sink to a watery grave, causing the 25 wolf lungs to fill with the icy waters of the North Atlantic… –An odd number, as one of them was born uni-lung, a hereditary condition which, by sheer mathematics alone caused it to howl twice as fast.