The Bait and Switch of Contemporary Christianity
Featured, Social Justice — By Matthew Worthington on June 10, 2010 at 10:21 amThis is a guest post from my dear friend Dr. Richard Beck. Dr. Beck is the Department Chair of Psychology at Abilene Christian University. His daily musings can be read at Experimental Theology.
To start, a story.
A few years ago a female student wanted to visit with me about some difficulties she was having, mainly with her family life. As is my practice, we walked around campus as we talked.
After talking for some time about her family situation we turned to other areas of her life. When she reached spiritual matters we had the following exchange:
“I need to spend more time working on my relationship with God.”
I responded, “Why would you want to do that?”
Startled she says, “What do you mean?”
“Well, why would you want to spend any time at all on working on your relationship with God?”
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”
“Let me answer by asking you a question. Can you think of anyone, right now, to whom you need to apologize? Anyone you’ve wronged?”
She thinks and answers, “Yes.”
“Well, why don’t you give them a call today and ask for their forgiveness. That might be a better use of your time than working on your relationship with God.”
Obviously, I was being a bit provocative with the student. And I did go on to clarify. But I was trying to push back on a strain of Christianity I see in both my students and the larger Christian culture. Specifically, when the student said “I need to work on my relationship with God” I knew exactly what she meant. It meant praying more, getting up early to study the bible, to start going back to church. Things along those lines. The goal of these activities is to get “closer” to God. To “waste time with Jesus.” Of course, please hear me on this point, nothing is wrong with those activities. Personal acts of piety and devotion are vital to a vibrant spiritual life and continued spiritual formation. But all too often “working on my relationship with God” has almost nothing to do with trying to become a more decent human being.
The trouble with contemporary Christianity is that a massive bait and switch is going on. “Christianity” has essentially become a mechanism for allowing millions of people to replace being a decent human being with something else, an endorsed “spiritual” substitute. For example, rather than being a decent human being the following is a list of some commonly acceptable substitutes:
Going to church
Worship
Praying
Spiritual disciplines (e.g., fasting)
Bible study
Voting Republican
Going on spiritual retreats
Reading religious books
Arguing with evolutionists
Sending your child to a Christian school or providing education at home
Using religious language
Avoiding R-rated movies
Not reading Harry Potter.
The point is that one can fill a life full of spiritual activities without ever, actually, trying to become a more decent human being. Much of this activity can actually be a distraction. In fact, some of these activities make you worse, interpersonally speaking. Many churches are jerk factories.
Take, for example, how Christians tip and behave in restaurants. If you have ever worked in the restaurant industry you know the reputation of the Sunday morning lunch crowd.
Millions of Christians go to lunch after church on Sundays and their behavior is abysmal. The single most damaging phenomenon to the witness of Christianity in America today is the collective behavior of the Sunday morning lunch crowd. Never has a more well-dressed, entitled, dismissive, haughty or cheap collection of Christians been seen on the face of the earth.
I exaggerate of course. But I hope you see my point. Rather than pouring our efforts into two hours of worship, bible study and Christian fellowship on Sunday why don’t we just take a moment and a few extra bucks to act like a decent human being when we go to lunch afterwards? Just think about it. What if the entire restaurant industry actually began to look forward to working Sunday lunch? If they said amongst themselves, “I love the church crowd. They are kind, patient and very generous. It’s my favorite part of the week waiting on Christians.” How might such a change affect the way the world sees us? Think about it. Just being a decent human being for one hour each Sunday and the world sees us in a whole new way.
But it’s not going to happen. Because behavior at lunch isn’t considered to be “working on your relationship with God.” Behavior at lunch isn’t spiritual. Going to church, well, that is working on your relationship with God. But, as we all know, any jerk can sit in a pew. But you can’t be a jerk if you take the time to treat your waitress as if she were a friend, daughter or mother.
My point in all this is that contemporary Christianity has lost its way. Christians don’t wake up every morning thinking about how to become a more decent human being. Instead, they wake up trying to “work on their relationship with God” which very often has nothing to do with treating people better. How could such a confusion have occurred? How did we end up going so wrong? I’m sure there are lots of answers, but at the end of the day we need to face up to our collective failure. I’m not saying we need to do anything dramatic. A baby step would do to start. Waking up trying to be a little more kind, more generous, more interruptible, more forgiving, more humble, more civil, more tolerant. Do these things and prayer and worship will come alongside to support us.
I truly want people to spend time working on their relationship with God. I just want them to do it by taking the time to care about the person standing right in front of them.
39 Comments
This was so helpful for me. I struggle with this exact thought process, and it’s so encouraging to see my confused thoughts put so precisely. Thank you!
I absolutely loved this, and completely agree. So true!
“But Jesus, I did all kinds of nice things for people. Why do you say ‘Depart from Me’?”
“I never knew you.”
Point being, that the fact that some people say they are working on knowing Him and are still jerks doesn’t mean that getting to know Him should not be our main goal in life. We’ll be come better people and treat others better as a result of working on our relationship with Him, not the other way around.
And as for your list, note that “social justice” and “voting Democrat” can be just as much an idol as the very valid ones you listed.
While I hear what you’re saying James, I think it’s important to note that in the Matthew 7 passage, Jesus is referring to people who do religious things as their petition for admission into heaven, which is what Beck is criticizing.
I don’t think he’s advocating for a religion or spirituality driven merely by actions, but rather I think he’s advocating for allowing Jesus to actually impact us. And were this article updated (he wrote it before the whole “social justice” deal became a debaucle with Glenn Beck), I’m sure social justice would’ve been included in that list. I would say though that I’m not quite sure that voting democrat has ever been considered a “Christian” thing to do. Democrats have never had the general reputation for being Christians.
Lastly, I feel that you fear (and I could be wrong about this feeling) this leans a little to one side in the “culture wars” that have been going on for some time, which is understandable, but I can vouch for Dr Beck and tell you he’s not that kind of guy. He just really cares about people learning to be impacted by God’s love for others.
I’m not sure why you brought fear into the conversation. I don’t fear your point; I disagree with it. Being good to people is great, and it’s godly. But it’s the result of the thing we should be doing: making our relationship with God as strong as it can be. In other words, I think you’re putting the cart before the horse. God has this thing about always wanting to be center stage. If I am reading this piece right, it’s somewhat man=centered.
I’ve flat out been told that being a Democrat is the Christian thing to do, and have been pressured more in that direction by Christians and church leaders that in the other. While I understand that he wasn’t implying that, it’s frustrating to see only one side presented as manipulative/bullying over and over again and the other given a free pass, when both sides bear guilt. The danger in reaction to a culture war is to over-correct. He may not have intended to do so, but it is another bad habit of contemporary Christianity.
If we trade in morning prayer and daily devotions for forced kindness and contrived affection, we will end up just as frustrated, because we are still depending on ourselves. We’ve traded one spiritual checklist for another.
Everyone has a religion (even excessive permissiveness is its own set of rules). We all try to save ourselves; it just looks different for each of us. Matthew 7 is about good tippers and super-nice people, too. I agree with the article. I suppose I just lament the missing half.
I wish he’d been a little more clarifying in this article as he says he was with the student.
I wish he had said point-blank that behaving decently and lovingly to others IS working on your relationship with God. You can’t separate it from the other spiritual practices, nor can someone genuinely have love for their neighbors without the enriching, encouraging spiritual disciplines.
I agree with him, but found myself at the end wishing he’d made that simple point. You can’t claim to have a relationship with God if you’re not treating His image with love and respect.
I love this article, thank you!
I am continually amazed at how people will read a well-balanced story and find things to argue about even though there’s really no argument to be had. I’m guilty of bringing an agenda to a conversation and I guess I’m not alone.
I agree more often than disagree here. But I commented on this piece because I disagreed with its main point. I don’t mean to offend. Or amaze.
Grace….a most wonderful thing. Can’t earn the stuff….
I agree completely with the premise of this piece, but there was something that kept holding me back from fully endorsing and wanting to share it. I think I figured out what it is.
I think the repeated mantra of “being a decent human being” falls short of the true goal. Perhaps the author means that as a baby step because we as a Christian culture swing so far to the side of being jerks that we need to focus on just being decent first. But the ultimate goal is to love, not to merely uphold social propriety.
The real problem that the author pointed out is that we tend to make our spiritual disciplines and practices an end unto themselves, whereas we should be seeing “fruit” from those practices. That should manifest itself in an outpouring of love for our waiter or waitress. And that love should present itself to the server through generous giving and the sense that we care about him or her as a fellow human being. Ultimately, that may come across as just being decent. But our motivation should be to love as He loves us, not merely the achievement of a goal to be a decent human being.
What? You mean Christianity is not all about deeper levels of self-absorption?
“We’ll be come better people and treat others better as a result of working on our relationship with Him, not the other way around.”
Really? So when people who aren’t Christians do beneficial, good things for their community, is it in vain? Is it not actually “good” because they don’t ascribe to a particular religious belief? Must ethics start with Christianity?
Come on.
“Really? So when people who aren’t Christians do beneficial, good things for their community, is it in vain?”
Not at all what I said.
“Is it not actually “good” because they don’t ascribe to a particular religious belief?”
Not at all what I said.
“Must ethics start with Christianity?”
Huh?
If one’s “working on their relationship with God” is cheap legalism that will simply make them feel better, it is certainly not constructive and does not lead to a renewed heart. With that being said, becoming a more decent human being is not the end goal – Christ is the end goal.
So, I think the root issue is probably rather how honest and genuine is your pursuit of the Lord (and how passionate) rather than the contrast of if you are pursuing the Lord vs. working on your behavior. This is a heart issue, not a behavior issue. By truly pursuing Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit granting a regeneration of the heart, our behavior will change, but only as a positive externality of what I believe our pursuit should be – Christ.
I think that he was trying to make a solid point, though – personal responsibility is crucial. Meaning don’t hide behind a fake pursuit of God and whine about habitual sin or problems in your life. Pursue Christ with all of your being and go to war with your sin. Try to solve your problems while praying that God will show up. After all, you might be the one He uses to heal.
I fall short on maintaining this point of view (that is, Christ as my treasure and pursuit) constantly and I think we are all bent in such a way as to struggle with this.
In 2nd Corinthians 5:17-21 we are called to seek righteousness. Righteousness is living in “right relationship” with everyone.
I absolutely get what Richard Beck is writing and he’s absolutely correct. Our disagreements with other people are usually stemmed because they fail to agree with our opinions; this happens when our opinions manifest into idolatry.
Jesus said love your neighbor, but we spend so much time finding reasons why we can’t: they’re liberal, they’re republican, they’re gay… or they’re a Florida Gator fan. Whatever it is, we each have so many reasons on why certain people do not deserve our patience, gratitude, love and respect.
Paul systematically writes in his letter that we are to strive to live agreeably with people and not be a force of contention; however, there are times we must contend for our faith. But often time we spend strive to contend for our faith rather that live out the attributes of the fruits of the spirit detailed in Galatians.
“Our disagreements with other people are usually stemmed because they fail to agree with our opinions; this happens when our opinions manifest into idolatry.” No doubt that happens a lot, and I’m most likely at the top of the offenders. However, in this case, I disagree with the order of things because it conflicts with Scripture. Jesus clearly says that knowing Him is more important than doing good things for people. See the passage I cited. Another example is alluded to by you. You point out that Jesus said love your neighbor. He says that that commandment comes right after the first Great Commandment: Love God. Pretty conclusive, I’d say. And my opinion is not in there anywhere.
JamesW – I don’t believe it is an either/or proposition. You cannot love people properly without loving God, and you cannot love God properly without loving people.
In the way that Christ humbled himself by becoming man, we are to humble ourselves in regards to our relationship to others. In Romans 12:9-21 Paul lays out the marks of true Christianity which detail our attitude towards others.
The problem, I believe Dr. Beck is pointing out, is that often times “working on our relationship with God” is often an private intellectual exercise that is hardly ever applied, and with that lack of application, we do not grow spiritually. Our mind is changed, but our heart remains cold to others.
I have thought about this subject for a very long time. A deeper relationship with God should create the outpouring of a heart that wants to show others who He is. So really, time with Him and becoming a decent human being should work together. Many times in those quiet times of building my relationship with Him, I think of people who I need to “be a decent human being” with. That is where the applicaiton part comes in. Will I reach out to them or will I remain in my “holy huddle” still working on my relationship with God? That seems to be the part many/I forget. I have a choice to keep Him to myself or share Him with the people I encounter. And that can begin with something as simple as a sincere smile and thank you to a stranger who just may need a descent human being encounter.
Dr. Beck has a few sweeping points that are too sweepy for me, but he stated his intent early on – the provocateur – and as such, I like this.
Sherry, I love the unintended misspell at the end of your comment – ‘a descent human being’ – that, for me, strikes at the heart of what this is all about, being willing to descend deeper and deeper into the world…incarnation.
I must say I cannot envision anyone in scripture saying ‘I really need to work on my relationship with God’…that kind of language is so foreign to both letter and spirit…it would be like hearing Barnabas say ‘I really need to work on my glutes.’
Hello, WOW what a big help this will be, best
Must say, there are many non-Christians out there who are absolutely wonderful human beings, and you could fully accomplish your prescription here with any number of self-help, Dr. Phil-esque books available today. Becoming a good person in our own strength has nothing to do with salvation.
“Must ethics start with Christianity?”
It must. There’s no other consistent basis for ethics.
I’m going to play the devil’s advocate here. You say that ethics must start with Christianity because “there’s no other consistent basis for ethics.” How then, would you explain someone like the Dali Llama, who is not a Christian, but lives a life of peace and follows a religion that is based around helping the poor, prayer, respect for god and elders, community, and the leading of an overall “ethical” life? Buddhism is an extremely peaceful, loving religion that is followed by millions who likely have never even heard of Jesus, yet they follow many of the “ethics” that Christians are instructed to do in scripture. Does this make them un-ethical?
And that’s just the one example I know.
I’d disagree with Jesse’s statement, and alter it to say that all ethics start with the God of the bible. Lots of non-Christians are good people, and do good things, but it’s because they bear the image of their Creator.
BTW, I don’t buy the idea that we should somehow respect Buddhism. We absolutely should respect Buddhists, but not Buddhism. How can we respect something that is sending millions of good-intentioned people to Hell?
Emily, yes, lots of people are good who are not Christians, but none of us, including Christians, are good enough to meet God’s standard. And that’s why we need a Savior. But you knew that.
James I’ll agree with everything you said, except that it’s hard for me to blame Buddhism for “sending millions of people to hell” when many, many people who practice it have never heard of Christ or the Judeo-Chrisitan God we know. Is that their fault?
Can you, as a Christian, begin with anything other than your belief in Christ as a basis for ethics? Sure, people can live morally and have other bases for their moral behavior, but all such bases fall apart when examined. What is the basis for ethics in Buddhism? I don’t really know enough about the religion to know. But would it stand up to truth when examined? Is it consistent within its own system? I’d have my doubts.
It’s not a matter of whether one can live morally without Christianity. It’s a matter of whether morality has a real reason for existing outside of Christianity. As Paul said, if the resurrection were not true, we of all men are most to be pitied, and ought to go out and live however we please.
Emily, the ability to be saved without knowing Christ is a topic worthy of debate, but probably not here. Sorry I mentioned it. I don’t want to derail this thing too much.
Yeah you’re right James, but you saw exactly where I was going. It’s an interesting debate, although I wouldn’t say it’s without Christ, I’d say it’s without Christ coming to people in ways we recognize (since it’s impossible to be saved without Christ) but I think we’re on the same page. Another time.
In Ephesians 5 there is a call to all believers to wake up and grow up. Verses 8-10 say this, “You groped your way through the murk once, but no longer. You’re out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true – these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, ane then do it.” The rest of the book of Ephesians goes on to talk about how we live out the actions that please Christ in our relationships with our spouses, children and employers (the people we are with everyday!!). Relationships are where we practice what it means to be a follower of Christ. If we seclude or cloister our spirituality to the sacred (prayer, devotion, tithing) but neglect being a good neighbor, we have missed the point. Our salvation and redemption are worked out as we share the love of Christ with all. I think that’s what Dr.Beck was getting at here. Being spiritual is loving God AND your neighbor. For further encouragement read 1 John! Don’t get bogged down wading through the muck any longer, just do it!!
“The rest of the book of Ephesians goes on to talk about how we live out the actions that please Christ in our relationships with our spouses, children and employers (the people we are with everyday!!). Relationships are where we practice what it means to be a follower of Christ. If we seclude or cloister our spirituality to the sacred (prayer, devotion, tithing) but neglect being a good neighbor, we have missed the point.”
I’m really glad you saw what he’s talking about. Action without Faith isn’t the goal, but neither is Faith without Action. What is the greatest commandment?
Matt 22: Love the Lord your God with all you heart, soul, and mind. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets fall on these two things.
How can we forsake any one of these three things?
Nobody’s forsaking anything. I am arguing with the order suggested by Beck. IMO, suggesting that we focus on being good to others before nurturing a relationship with God is in fact, a rejection of God’s directives to put God first.
James,
Why are you taking this comment as if it’s aimed at you? My apologies for not directly responding to Lisa, but what I had mentioned was something she wrote. You don’t have to, nor should you, take my last comment as if it’s directed at you.
Good point. My apologies.
It isn’t that we didn’t get it. As far as I can tell, anyone who was even slightly dissenting here agreed that all the things Dr. Beck mentioned were good things. I don’t think anyone called for forsaking any of it. I, and I think we, just wish it had seemed less like a new formula to replace the old one and that what he said more closely and accurately represented what I feel confident he meant.