People with Real Problems
Featured, Social Justice — By Matt Miles on July 1, 2010 at 10:32 amI could go to any church that claims faith in Christ, mention a need, and see the majority of the congregation come alive with a desire to meet it. We are hungry to fulfill a desire, a desire I believe didn’t come of our own will. We were meant to help.
Unfortunately, most of my own problems amount to the Internet moving slowly, or the cable going out, resulting in a rage otherwise reserved for the final judgment. Too many times, I have closed the bedroom door to make sure my wife couldn’t hear me and yelled at the Internet for being so slow. I could blame hunger for many of those times, but since that hunger was due to the choice not to eat until the Internet was working I don’t have much of a case. Yet I rage, curse and lament the invention of technology. Technology made me hungry.
We live in South Korea as missionary teachers, and as foreigners who don’t speak the language
we don’t have access to some of the same things Koreans have, like iPhones. Our TVs are often second-hand, and we have DVD players, laptops, individual iPods, an oven, a washer and dryer, and a small library of books. We’re privileged people in a privileged country. Our biggest problems involve having older stuff and communication issues with neighbors, but that’s about it. If stuff never broke down, I’d probably forget how to get angry, so that must be the mysterious purpose to it all.
Still, when I hear about opportunities to help, I want to be right there. I know there’s more than my own life and desires and I want to be a part of it. Once we are aware, we as the church body are usually good about responding. We want to; we just need encouragement. Of course, this only goes so far, as even generosity and compassion have their limits. We may speak and sing as if they don’t, but they do.
A person looking for an opportunity to help in our country of residence needn’t look too hard—they are everywhere. Beyond orphanages and old folks’ homes there are many migrant workers here to do jobs that fit the three Ds: difficult, dangerous, or dirty. Three D jobs don’t pay that well, and if entire churches don’t respond, at least individual members do. The migrant workers don’t find them, but it works the other way around. Many of them speak a fair amount of English, giving many Western expats more opportunities to serve. However, some opportunities are more favorable than others. Many would fit in at or at least be able to attend a church service, but some would not. And that’s where the mercy ends.
As a heterosexual male, a happily married man and a missionary, the hardest part of my day involves walking downtown in an outdoor shopping mall area near an American military base. Years ago, this area earned all manners of fame, some of which being for the pervasiveness of prostitution. When I first arrived I, like others, was routinely asked if I wanted a woman. The appearance of the female pimp never put much confidence in that of the unseen ladies of ill repute, making resistance easy even for heterosexual single non-missionaries. But the sight of other ladies walking around, well, that’s another story.
“Look at me,” my wife says as we walk downtown. She lets me know when it’s safe to look again, and I’m always grateful for the service. There’s only one woman I want to picture. Who are these scantily clad women anyway?
“They’re not prostitutes,” an American friend informed me. Many come from the Philippines or other less wealthy countries with the promise of a decent job. After following the advice of whoever offered them the job and making the long trip here they are soon told what a “decent job” means to their new employer. Some become strippers, others get paid to talk to Americans in bars to encourage them to buy more drinks. It would be a living if the pay were decent. It’s not.
In return for getting paid peanuts to degrade themselves these women are looked down on by basically everyone, including missionaries like myself. We are in the perfect place to minister, to talk to these young ladies and give them hope or some kind of help, but we can’t. It’s in our contract and some old but inaccurate interpretations of Scripture. The former says avoid bars, and the latter says avoid the appearance of evil. Maybe we could say forget the rules and buy a soda in the forbidden bars as we help people who need it, but that would be wrong. We could say we were doing good, and hopefully many would believe us, but the reality is people are suspicious and self-protective. It’s safer to think the worst of others and try not to look certain places. If all else fails we close our eyes.
Maybe I’m being dramatic. There are plenty of people we can still reach, and who says these exotic dancers want or need help? We never asked them. Of course, we’re not allowed to ask if we want to, which many of us don’t, so how the hell are we supposed to know?
10 Comments
If Jesus cared as much about what people thought of him as you seem to in the end of this article, he’d never have done his ministry. Seriously, those women are caught in sex trafficking and need love more than anyone, go with your wife, or if you are not strong enough, encourage your wife to bring some friends and go and talk to and love them. Who cares what people think, this is what Jesus would want. All you have to do is read scriptures to see that his heart is for those you are walking by everyday. You can do it.
Great reply, Emily.
Thanks for the feedback. There are people who do exactly what you’ve mentioned, for example the friend in the article who told me who these women are,and they would agree with you 100%. I do too, but unfortunately the attitude I shared at the end of the article reflects that of many who use questionable theology (and titles such as missionary) as an excuse for selfishness. In my experience, it’s often the people wihout these titles who step up (like my friend). I’m glad they do, but it is sad for us who still struggle or even refuse to do right.
I understand, and I apologize if I came across harsh, I read and re-read your last paragraph and couldn’t determine if you were saying that was how you felt, or if that was how sadly others felt, so sorry if we are on the same page. It is sad and infuriating that some Christians can’t see past stigma and see the people who need love, especially in light of the Gospel and Jesus’s entire ministry while he was on Earth. He came for the broken, and that’ who we need to go to.
I wholeheartedly agree, and my intention in writing this article was to share some of the frustration you just expressed. The last paragraph was meant as a reminder that many of us devoted to serving Christ and others are coming a long way in noticing the least of these, but we still have a long way to go. I’m not the only one who wrestles with the feelings described at the end, but not including myself would be dishonest.
But who’s to say that God can’t use you to minister to those women? Ok so you won’t go into the bars. That’s fine. I don’t think it is our obligation as Christians to meet each and every single need we see. A lot of Christians feel that we need to give money to anyone who asks for it.
Me and a friend were waiting in the drive-thru at Mcdonalds. A man walks up to my car and knocks on the passenger side window. I crack it open, with suspicion, and ask him what he needed. I’m usually the one who takes every story with a grain of salt. The man explained that he needed gas for his car which was a hospital a half mile away and that he needed to get his girlfriend home. My friend was as not familiar with the area as I was, I worked here. The town of Elkton consists of a fair amount of drug addicts and alcoholics. I knew that I had to turn this guy down with,”I don’t have cash to spare”. I can’t live with the possibility that I’m enabling some one to continue in self-destruction. My friend was easily convinced, gave him 5 bucks and I kept my mouth shut.
But that’s how I feel about meeting peoples needs. If someone really needs help God will bring them to me, as He will lead me to them. If God had given me the nudge that this man needed my help, I would have. But God needs to be the one and only reason for why we do these things, not the guilt we feel when we don’t think we can or should help. God calls us to do these things, not obligates.
That was a good article Matt and I believe I do get your point. Yet I also like sharing additional input as one of my pet peeves is when we prejudge people by their behaviors without knowing what may be going on with them within. And even if God shed his Light there, I know his heart is to redeem man through Christ, not condemn. Do know I’m not saying you are doing that, just know that at times when one view is shared those things can happen.
I agree with the obligation aspect. That can be more legalism than grace. God is about moving in people’s hearts and situations and if we will pray about it and stay sensitive to his promptings and who he brings in our lives, wonderful things can happen. Sometimes conflicts and misunderstandings arise because we try and making things happen on our own and when others aren’t receptive, we think they are jerks when it may be that God has not been working in that situation for what we or they have to offer. Or we may just be planting the seed. Someone else may water it, and we let God do the most important part of making the seed grow.
With that said things shared here reminded me of a time this guy told me of another guy we know that told him how he met this prostitute. I can’t remember the story in full details but he told him that he got away from her. So the guy telling me the story said that he should have witnessed to her. God knows what was called for but this is how I saw it. I know both guys and know the guy that was with the prostitute has a weakness with women while the other doesn’t. I believe he knew his weakness and was probably feeling it arise and decided to get away from the situation before he found himself in a predicament. God knows who the right person is to reach her.
Think I shared this next story before here but one time at work this guy sat in our lobby. He wasn’t facing me but I heard him moaning about being so lonely. I’m not some naive teen and realize that sometimes guys do that to play their games at times (yes, woman do too so not picking on men). But I sensed that this was not a game but a cry from somewhere deep down in this man and it struck a cord within me. My heart was like, “Oh that poor man, let me try and help and I can also tell him to share his heart with the Lord.” But then he was now facing me and I could feel the lust coming out of him when he looked at me. You know how you can feel stuff coming out of others so strongly it almost reaches out and touches you? An alarm went off in me and I really felt I was not the one to help this guy because even though he was in the grips of his depravity, he was also in the grips of lust. It did feel like a dangerous situation to me, one I was probably to avoid. So I prayed instead that the Lord would help him and God can bring the right person to be an extension of Jesus to him and witness to him.
God will give us his grace for the cross or thorn he asks us to bear. His grace is sufficient.
Thanks for sharing. Happy 4th everyone.
Love in Him,
Jo
I understand what both of you are saying about giving and obligation, and I’m not saying the answer is always to give, though it is more than we care to admit. In any of the other circumstances I mentioned I would have a conversation with people and show them love (again not just throwing some coinage). God calls us to love the least of these, and if we keep making excuses not to, those excuses probably have more obligation attached to them than loving does. It’s wise to avoid someone who is a real threat to you, but there is no good reason not to have conversations like the one I mentioned in the essay above.
I think I know where you are getting at Matt and found myself covering a bit on that topic but it made for an extra long post (and it was already long) so I did away with it. But now I can share some of what I have gleemed in this one. I spend time on with prophetically gifted people and those that aren’t so much. Both have wonderful things to share in their current personal journeys. What I generally find (not with all people but in general) is that each seems to lean too far to one side (not saying what is right or wrong for them, maybe it is to be so for a season, don’t always know).
For instance, those more seeing and sensing into the spiritual realm can feel strongly about waiting on God before they move. Those on the other side seem to feel more strongly about moving. What I find is that both fit into the picture. James is a great “rubber to road” book and if he were speaking our lingo today I imagine him saying, “You see a need, step up to the plate. Show me the money!” Yet there are other scriptures that show that at times we wait on God and his leading. God gave Moses specific direction yet, if my memory serves me correct at the Red Sea he said, “Why are you inquiring of me, use what I have given you.”
I like to help others and have wondered sometimes how to go about that in regards to both sides I spoke of. With prayer and with what I feel the Lord has showm me regarding me is that it is fine to step out and see where I can help. It’s in my heart and feel it is Him that has given me that. And what He has showm me is at times I don’t know what is called for but when with “the right heart” looking to help I am sharing and looking to see what may be called for with others. And with those times I can get a revelation from above and I offer my portion. I don’t assume my portion is the whole because I know others may have a portion I don’t know about that is revelant, but I offer what I have been given.
I really do believe that a very important element, if not the most important, is the condition of the heart. That is what God sees and we don’t have to all the surface details right. Not that it doesn’t have its place too but if our hearts are off God will deal with the condition of our hearts first.
So I step out because I like to help others but I also try and remain sensitive to those other things I spoke of. There are people that are hungry for what we have and God knows whose hearts are prepared. And when that divine connection is made, wonderful things take place. You will find that you have had a wealth of things deposited in you by the Lord that He brings up to help feed others.
Something I have shared with my prophetic friends because we can get in the trap of thinking, “What is wrong with me and what am I doing wrong?” If nothing seems to be happening. Maybe there are things that may need addressing with us or maybe there is just no divine connection.
Anyway, that is something I came across not too long ago as someone kept bring up “waiting on God”. But we have to be careful about assuming what God may be telling us He is telling all because that was not what God was showing me. There are times He tells me stop or eject from the situation for various reasons. But overall the message “to me” has been that as I step out and reach out from the right heart He can and does enter into the picture to give that portion to benefit all.
And again, in those times when I am unsure of what is called for I and others may be looking to see what the issue may be and what may be called for. If I don’t KNOW I may continue to explore but I don’t look to assume those things.
The Holy Spirit is our trusted leader and sees all hearts and situations clearly and we can trust him to lead us all personally well. What may be right for me at a specific time and situation, may not be right for you.
Anyway, hope that helps some. I know it is long but I don’t know how to cover these things in a couple sentences.
Thanks Matt and I do think I get your point in the article and I thought it was good. Just sharing a portion that may help.
Sorry, planned on ending there as I feel I am done but I wanted to elaborate on something I said. When I spoke of that person speaking of “waiting on God”, I do believe in those things too as I said but I felt they were saying that we have to wait for that divine revelation. As I said, I don’t always know what God is saying to another and how He is directing them so I am not about to tell them they are wrong in those things, for them personally. I just know God puts desires in our hearts and as we step out with the right heart and stay sensitive to Him (as He can change directions with what is going on with hearts and situations), wonderful things can occur.
Just came to elaborate on that. I’m off.
Thanks!