10 Reasons Why Baseball Needs Tim Tebow

Essays, Humor, Sports — By Chris Cate on April 4, 2012 at 10:22 am

Baseball’s spring training season is a spring cleaning of sorts. Players are knocking rust off and brushing up on fundamentals, managers are polishing lineups and fans are soaking up sunshine. However, baseball might want to consider cleaning out its vacuum hose because players are still having trouble testing clean once the regular season begins.

Because baseball is a game of averages, it needs the cleanest athlete available to improve the overall level of clean play. Specifically, baseball needs Tim Tebow.

I can only assume Tim Tebow doesn’t already play baseball because, in Chuck Norris fashion, Tim Tebow hits home runs faster than Rawlings can manufacture baseballs. But I’m not suggesting Tim Tebow play baseball during the regular season. Tim Tebow is clean enough to change the sport’s image in one spring training game. And if the Yankees can play the University of South Florida in a spring training game, why can’t the Yankees play Tim Tebow?

As if cleaning up the sport and improving television ratings weren’t enough reasoning for Tim Tebow to play baseball, here are 10 more reasons why Tim Tebow at least needs to be a part of spring training:

Tim Tebow doesn’t point to where his home runs will land; he points to where he will go to catch his own home runs.

There may be no crying in baseball, but a single Tim Tebow tear can water all of the ivy at Wrigley Field for a year.

Tim Tebow can step on a foul line and make it lucky for everyone who ever steps on it again.

Tim Tebow can throw a knuckle ball that spins faster than a curve ball.

Tim Tebow wears a baseball hat because his head is too bright for everyone else.

Tim Tebow can throw and bat a perfect game.

Tim Tebow doesn’t just win gold gloves, he plays with a gold glove that he loosened up with shaving cream he wiped off of his razor.

Tim Tebow can throw an umpire out of a game, because Tim Tebow can call balls and strikes and they are so.

Tim Tebow doesn’t steal bases; the competition offers them to him.

Tim Tebow makes fantasy baseball a reality.