An Open Letter to Chick-Fil-A President Dan Cathy
Blog, Essays — By Bert Montgomery on July 25, 2012 at 8:56 am
NOTE: This was written a day prior Chick-Fil-A made the public statement that their tradition “is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect – regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender.” What a wonderful statement! However, I still believe this letter is appropriate and the invitation given at the end remains open…
July 2012
Dear Mr. Cathy,
I love Chick-Fil-A. I truly do. And, I have great respect for your values and your decision to be closed on Sundays and Christian holidays.
I also love my gay friends. I really do. And, I am convinced that loving Chick-Fil-A and loving my gay friends do NOT have to be mutually exclusive.
I read recently that you have acknowledged your company’s financial support of “traditional family” organizations which actively oppose the protection of rights of our gay neighbors. Understandably, the LGBT community is very upset.
However, I will not be forced to choose between my favorite fast-food and my beloved life-long friends who happen to be gay.
I was raised, and am still, a Baptist. You too, I understand, were raised Baptist. Several of my gay Christian friends (yes, Christian AND gay) were also raised as Baptists (two of whom attended a prominent Baptist college; and one of them served as student president of the Baptist Student Union). So, as a Baptist minister, I’m going to reach out to both sides in this squabble and appeal to yours and my friends’ Baptist commonalities and, more importantly, to the honest desire you share to follow Jesus.
First, Mr. Cathy: Let’s get this out of the way – we all know that Chick-Fil-A frequently serves and even employs (though perhaps unknowingly) LGBT individuals. So, even while with one hand the company publicly supports anti-gay organizations, at the same time it enjoys profits from the patronage of gay customers (and quietly from the labor of some gay employees). Hopefully, Chick-Fil-A will never start asking “are you gay?” before serving a customer. Because once you refuse to serve gay patrons, will you then begin to ask questions about sexual habits of your straight customers? Of course you won’t. Not only is that bad business, it’s also not Christian. Therefore, if Chick-Fil-A is willing to accept money from customers who may or may not be gay (because you don’t ask), why not also allow these same folks to be your friends even if you disagree with their decisions?
Second, to my many friends calling for protests and boycotts of Chick-fil-A: we all know that the employees we encounter are good, local people who are working hard to make ends meet. Most of them couldn’t care less if they are handing a chicken sandwich to a straight or gay customer. While wanting to get the attention of the folks up in corporate headquarters, let’s not take our attention away from our neighbors preparing the food and taking our cash and providing for their families.
Many of my gay friends and allies have been burned severely by the Christian community and have no interest in the Christian faith. My plea from faith carries no weight for them. I understand that.
But to my Christian gay friends and allies, instead of boycotting and fighting Chick-fil-A, let’s practice the Golden Rule – we will do unto others as we would have others do unto us if the tables were reversed. Let’s overwhelm Chick-Fil-A with increased business and support.
For my Chick-Fil-A corporate neighbors who believe our LGBT neighbors are the enemies of Christianity, I’d like to remind you of the first part of Romans 12:20: “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.” And I share the second part of the same verse with my LGBT neighbors that by increasing our business with Chick-Fil-A, we’ll be heaping “burning coals of shame on their heads.” In seeking to out-love and out-serve each other, we’ll all share in the shame and we can begin learning to trust each other.
Mr. Cathy, I’d love nothing more that to sit with you and a few of your colleagues at a Chick-Fil-A table in Atlanta and introduce you to three or four of my Christian friends and ministers – who just also happen to be gay. Together we can go around the table and profess our Christian faith and begin to break down the walls that separate us as societal enemies and strangers; together we can be challenged and blessed by each other in a way that surpasses our understanding – as brothers and sisters in Christ. Together we can break bread (er…. chicken) together, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, be united as one in the bond of love.
And, by the grace of God, may our actions bear witness to the world of the reconciling work of Jesus our Lord.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling the need for some waffle fries. I think I’ll invite a gay friend to join me …
A brother in Christ,
Bert
Rev. Bert Montgomery
writer/teacher/minister
Tags: anti-gay organizations, chick-fil-a, Chick-Fil-A and gays, Christian and gay, Dan Cathy, gay Christian, Jesus, LGBT
18 Comments
Bert, thanks for stretching your tolerance all the way to the point that you’re not going to boycott a company because of the personal views of its owner. I wish all those who preach tolerance were as fair-minded as you.
thank you, James.
I do believe it is a company’s right to set their own standards for their business (as long as it’s legal!). However, I do not agree with your suggestion of the LGBT community giving Chick Fil A MORE business. I am gay, and encounter hatred every day — why would I want to give my business to a company that supports anti-gay associations and politicans? The owners of Chick Fil A are rich enough. No thanks. I’ll give my business to those who appreciate who I am and support me, as much as I support them. And, I too am Christian. I was born and raised Christian. I am on Facebook, and have noticed how so many of my so-called Christian friends are supporting Chick Fil A. They all want to go there even more now. Tells me they really aren’t my friends after all. Not one of them have ever stopped to ask me how I fell about this. How do you think that makes me feel?????
Are you saying friends cannot disagree on a topic like this? To me, friendship should be able to withstand disagreements on topics, especially this one. I say especially this one because it’s so divisive. It’s not like the people who think one way are on the fringe. It’s very close to being a 50-50 split. As long as you know that half the people are seeing this differently than you, you will need to accept that they do. That’s the way it is on any similar issue.
James, this isn’t a “topic” for the millions of gay people who still do not have equal rights. And if I was gay, it’d be really hard for me to be friends with someone who saw Dan Cathy’s statement, and loved it so much they wanted to go to Chick-Fil-A even more.
And when it’s really hard to be friends with someone, Emily, that’s when it’s most important to be friends. To choose love in the face of hurt and pain. Nothing more valuable or beautiful or meaningful than that.
Christ’s example is clear here. One command He gave, to love as He did. Sacrificially, putting the other ahead of yourself. Very hard, very worth it.
Not a topic? What word would you use? Issue? Does it matter?
At any rate, if people would read the full interviews, they’d be much less alarmed by what Cathy said. But nobody seems to want to do that. When he said “guilty as charged”, he was talking about a marriage retreat that his Winshape foundation puts on, to help save troubled marriages. He wasn’t even talking about same-sex marriage. He was saying he believes in helping save marriages. For that he should be applauded, but of course, to the reporter who ran across that interview, he saw an opportunity to twist some facts. So he combines the “guilty as charged” statement from that interview with some words from another interview several weeks earlier, where Cathy said it’s arrogant of us to tell God we’re going to redefine marriage, and presented it to the public as if it were all about the same topic, and now it’s blown up.
Do I care if gays are hurt? Absolutely. But I don’t think these remarks are hurtful. Not if you take what he really said, and in the context in which he said it.
Now, the question is: do those on the other side of this topic care about my feelings? Because if the reaction over the last week has affected me at all, it’s made me feel that
(a) people who believe certain things on certain issue cannot express them without being called hateful, bigoted, and, most ridiculous of all, homophobic.
(b) it’s made me feel bullied. Yes, I said that.
(c) it’s made me wonder if the bullying pressure from both the culture and government (remember, two mayors have threatened banning CFA from their towns) will result, in, say ten years, some laws passed curtailing the rights of people to say what they think if they happen to take the “incorrect” position.
“In seeking to out-love and out-serve each other, we’ll all share in the shame and we can begin learning to trust each other.”
Brilliant. Love it.
thanks, Kim. Much appreciated.
I just went back and re-read my most recent comment and want to apologize to all who read it, especially Emily and JD. It comes across as callous and insensitive, and all I can do is apologize and assure you that I didn’t mean it like it came out.
To read my comment, one would think I am saying it doesn’t matter what a gay person thinks. Of course it matters. When Jesus sent people in pairs to spread the gospel, His first instruction was “speak peace” to whoever invites them in. My tone above was just the opposite of that, and I am truly sorry.
Thanks James
Im trying to see the pro-gay marriage side of this issue a little better…I’ve seen harsh tactics applied from both sides….
At the risk of sounding extemely ignorant…..how is this issue (gay marriage) a civil rights issue? (Im not saying it isnt, but Im trying to get a clearer understanding of the concerns and ramifications on the table)
Also, is the LGBT a defensive organization or more offensive? Is the LGBT a ‘my way or the high way’ organization or do they try to achieve harmony and middle ground whenever possible?
thanks!
AC
Fundamentally, it’s a civil rights issue, not an equal rights issue. The difference is that everyone has an equal right to marry an unmarried consenting adult of the opposite sex. The rights are equal.
It’s a civil rights issue, because at a core, marriage is a religiously originated practice that the government really doesn’t have any business defining. Frankly, i think the whole sexual orientation part of it is a bit of a red herring. The core problem here is that people let the government started promoting/endorsing/utilizing a religious practice for legal purposes (inheritance, adoption, visitation rights, and so on). This was and is a monumental mistake, but understandable because at the time it was the most convenient way to implement such arrangements. But lo, the culture changed and now instead of being convenient, it’s become apparent that the govt really has no business defining marriage. For anyone at all. Because now it’s forced to take sides in an essentially religious argument. Not ok at all.
It’s time to end marriage licenses entirely. Replace the whole system with a properly secular legal “fast track” for any two (or more for all i care) consenting adults to voluntary enter into. Civil unions are as good a name as any.
….is it a civil rights or equal rights issue? is there a difference? thanks!
I agree with Dan Cathy. Nobody, particularly not Christians, has a right to rewrite God’s ordinance of marriage. This is not unloving to maintain such a position which is based on the biblical injunction that our belief in Jesus Christ cannot save us unless we also acknowledge our sins–as God defines sin–and repent of them. And clearly by God’s Word, homosexuality is not only a sin but an abomination to God. was taught we should hate the sin and love the sinner. But that is not good enough for the gay/lesbian factions who count all beliefs in contradiction to their own as hate crimes, and many who would wish the loss of liberty for all who would not only express their belief in the biblical position, but who even believe in it.
I’m pretty sure Chick-fil-a wouldn’t care if a boycott was organized–They’ve made way more money and won an abundunce of support since the controversy–they only stand to gain. Alot of hysteria, over-reaction and mis-information from high profile individuals didn’t help the LGBT cause. My impression is Cathy isn’t opposed to individuals as much as he’s in favor of traditional marriage.
Ok thanks. I actually did a Q&A with dUg Pinnick, a gay agnostic bassist vocalist of the band King’s X, he’s an exChristian, you want to talk about a candid exchange. Nobody wants to touch it. He has some pretty interesting insights, it’ll get out there soon, look for it! AC