Hello darlings! What a delight to see you return to a form befitting a grand bastion of hipster religion. Many of your recent pieces filled me with such tingling glee that I thought I’d died and gone to Hell. (Then I realized that I’m already here! Isn’t it marvelous being me?) Though I’m disappointed...

Hello Darlings! I fear that I will be unable to distribute Big B or Little B awards this time, my dears. You all seem to be hibernating in the wake of holiday excess. Where’s the winking sarcasm? The scandal? The hip aloofness? The glamour, for Satan’s sake? Poverty and environmental concerns are...

Hello Darlings! I simply adore syncretism. Through it, Christianity has reached its highest heights and absconded from its lowest lows. If not for the Roman Empire and Hellenistic thought, Christianity would have remained mired in a Palestinian mud-hole, little more than a hippie commune floating in...

Hello Darlings! Season’s greetings, happy holidays, or whatever the Hell you people call Winter Solstice nowadays. Regardless, my beauties, it’s a scrumptious time of year. I adore the trees, the lights, the hustle and bustle, and, above everything, the presents. Presents are what the holiday season...

Hello Darlings! My name is Prince Beelzebub, but my friends call me Prince B. The pimps in the eighth circle bequeathed me with this moniker some thirty years ago and it stuck. PrinceB at your service, my dears. I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Waiting for the time when Satan lost interest in...